that literally have me sitting here wondering if anything is right in my life anymore. I’m just full of depression and disappointment right now. Anyway, the doom and gloom isn’t really the point of this post.
I really hope I’m not the only one, but does anyone else have someone they look up to/admire that they just really wish they were like BFFs with and could just call up and be like “Yo, my lyfe sux help me out bro” and just vent to? No, just me? Awkward. No but really, I’ve become reacquainted with @deefizzy’s videos and social networks again since meeting him at SBSW. And from his recent twitter and tumblr posts, I feel like he’s one of the only people that would legit understand me 100%, and I just feel like that’s something I need right now. Someone that actually understands instead of someone just trying to soothe me..
But anywho, change of tone. He’s awesome. And if any of you haven’t heard of him yet, go
stalk check out his YouTube/Twitter/Tumblr!
You know. You keep asking what I wanted to talk about, but I’m sure you wouldn’t ask if you knew what I wanted to say. Like you keep asking, which is making you seem like you care. Which is bad enough cause that’s not the image I need of you right now. But then I feel like if you actually heard how I felt, it obviously wouldn’t change anything and just make me seem even more pathetic and you’d just sit there like. “Oh. Well. Sorry..” awkwardly wishing you never asked. But damn I want to talk to you so badly but I know it’s just better to let it go…
I’ve never been good at moving on or letting go. I hate the idea of letting someone just walk out of my life. Even if I know they don’t care, or I should let go cos it’d be better. Just no. If this person had any affect in my life, I can’t just let them go and have them become a complete stranger to me again.
But I feel like I’m the only one that thinks this. It’s like everyone knows how to move on but me. So I’m always kinda just… stuck here, watching everyone go on with their lives while I have no idea which step to take in mine.
One top of everything else… Then finding out one of the few people you’re comfortable pouring yourself out to isn’t someone you can fully trust? Even betterrr.
It’s a sad night when you realize you lost your right to claim someone as a friend.
It’s taking every nerve in my system, every muscle in my body, every fiber of my being not to have an emotional breakdown right now.
I’ve always thought the word “heartbreak” was stupid. But now I understand it literally feels like your heart physically hurts, and it’s such a painful feeling.
I’ve dealt with heartbreak before in the most brutal way possible, and I survived. But it’s so much worse when the person returns those feelings, and then suddenly doesn’t. Because then you can’t help but blame yourself and start thinking through everything you might’ve done wrong and everything you could’ve done differently.
“You like someone who can’t like you back because unrequited love can be survived in a way once-requited love cannot.”
If I turn the lights off, maybe the world won’t see me start to fall apart while I sit in the dark.
Couldn’t sleep at all last night. Woke up almost hourly, and every dream I had reflected exactly what’s going on. I hate when dreams can make you more nervous and things…
boy do i know how to put my heart in the perfect position to get broken or what
I have a reaallyy strong feeling this year’s going to be a repeat of last. And I’m trying so hard not to think about it, but I can’t help it.